You can hide it in a box,
Or you can fuck it with your cock.
You can release it with a chair,
Or take in magic cloudy air.
Some drown out every breath,
Some laugh at a dragon's death.
You can hide it in your nose,
Or numb your mind with shows.
Freaks fall on their knees and pray,
Others meditate every day.
Some release it on a page,
Others swallow pills for days.
But I try to think of crazy shit,
And wait for moods to flip.
I rant all night with Dub,
And read my comics, bub.
I would like to present the first of an occasional series of irrational thoughts of mine late at night after a little too much puff puff.
Are humans the only species that makes mistakes? I am looking at my dog. I have never seen my dog fall down while walking down the street. I can't make it make up the stairs without tripping over my own feet. My dog never looks back at his day and says "Man, I really messed up today when I ate all of my food early. I should have saved some." I hyper-analyze every aspect of my life and am amazed by the amount of errors made. I mean Jesus Christ, I bit my finger and my tongue tonight eating the same apple. My dog catches food out of the air, and I never see him crumble to the ground after stubbing his paw. How do we rule this world?
I love television about fucked up people. Trash on TV. When my mind goes to insane places, and I think about how horrible I am, at least I can watch Maury and say, "Well at least I'm not that person". Intervention is the best show for this. But I cant watch it sober. There is something so asshole-ish about watching a show about hardcore drug addicts while smoking a blunt. Hey, its not my fault those losers can't handle their shit!
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With the upcoming release of Marvel vs. Capcom 3 on the horizon, fighting games have once again risen to prominence in the video game world and diehard fighting game fans are exercising their thumbs and building up their fast twitch muscles. Fighting game fans are some of the most dedicated and loyal fans that exist, and once their sink their nimble fingers into a game, they rarely let it go completely. But what is it about fighting games that draw players in more than a pedophile to a Twilight midnight showing. There is something about fighting games that connects to the psychology of a player, and creates an explosion of pride in a true fighting game connoisseur.
Every player knows the exact best line they ever uttered just as Spider-man jumps backwards into a Maximum Spider to knock out a poor Bison jumping in at the worst time. What a stupid stupid man that tried to pull that move on me! No one does that to Spider-Man. I own the skies! Whoa, sorry. But that’s just what I mean. No other game brings out the razorblade tongue more than a fighting game. And it is this shit talking that makes each win just a little bit better. Before, during, and after, a win gives ammunition for verbal annihilation like nothing else.
There is also masculine brutality in playing fighters. At times, I get a psychological erection from smashing the ever-living crap out of someone. In a world where the warped images of violence that my mind produces are quenched by my sense of responsibility, fighting games are a way to unleash my rage on my closest friends through Wolverine’s claws.
Instead of acquiring a Helm of Pointyness, fighters allow you to quest for real skill. The precision and technical prowess needed for fighters surpasses any other game played with a controller(sorry Guitar hero). Each match I play increases my muscle memory, and the ability to hit that perfect half moon at the right time cannot be accomplished with simple button mashing. This fine-tuning is a quest to become a level 65 Ryu with a nasty Dragon punch.
In all, fighting games allow players to test themselves against other men in a physical contest without breaking bones or puncturing a lung. The quickness of my hands and the reactions of my eyes are put to the ultimate battle against another human without the need to wrap my face in an ace bandage. Even though a true fighting game freak may walk home with their pride destroyed, the moment when you dominate your best friend, the feeling of proving your superiority is without gaming peer.
This weekend we here at the Puff Puff Podcast are gonna be up to our assholes in otaku!
Wanna know why?!
(also known in some circles as Nerd Christmas)
We've waited an extra long time for King Con to head back to the Big Apple, and this is shaping up to worthy of the title of the east coast's number one geek destination. This year New York Comic Con is 50% larger and promises to be a feast for all appetites Whether your poison is comics, games, movies, comic-movies, comic-games, game-movies, or even (jesus help you) movie games, you'd bound to find something to buy and something to snicker at.
There are boatloads of TV and movie celebrities attending: Bruce Campbell, Stan Lee, M. Night Shymalan, Corey er... Feldman, Noah Wyle, Milo Ventamiglia, Seth Green Carey Elwes, Maggie Q, Morgan Spurlock, Lou Ferrigno, Grizz from 30 Rock - hell even Chris Claremont is going. Might not sound like much, but if you watch Stargate or Battlestar, you'd have recognized twice as many names.
But even if the endless parade of comics, games, booths, panels, screenings, signings and spending isn't your thing, you're still in luck. New York Comic Con is an experience of a lifetime for avid people-watchers. The fans and the costumes, that's what makes it great. Case in point: You're standing in line for a hot dog, digging around in your wallet for a five dollar bill and you happen to look to your left and standing next to you is:
Boom: Black Cyclops.
And he's doing the fingers-to-the-goggles move! No, not just because someone's taking a picture, he's been doing it for the last twenty minutes, just because. Just because he's black effing Cyclops. If that doesn't make you snicker, then call the coroner cuz you already dead inside. The costumes make the con, and this year New York has got it made. Watch your back though, the Jawa's in this neighborhood are HUGE fuckers and they'll rob you in broad daylight.
Zack Snyder has been tapped to direct the Superman reboot. Snyder is reportedly going to be directing the film under the supervision of Chris Nolan, whatever the hell that means. This announcement is sure to please fans of Snyder's work on films such as 300, the Watchmen and Dawn of the Dead. It's also sure to piss of people who maybe wanted Nolan to do it himself. Let's cross our fingers that Snyder doesn't subcontract it out to Uwe Boll.
As for me, up until yesterday I wasn't the least bit interested in seeing Superman back on the silver screen. I realize that the man with the "S" on his chest has become a part of the culture, both in America and the world over. So it's with all due respect to the characters, the mythos and DC comics as a whole, that I say: Superman's origin story is boring as hell. It's 2010 for god's sake, we don't need to see the same thing done all over again.
Earth's Yellow Sun! Wind-Breath! Kryptonite!
…I know, I know
Mild Mannered! Lois Lane! Single Bound!
...I said I heard it before.
Lex Luthor! Fortress of Solitude!
…seriously, stop it.
I'm interested in a re-imagining, not a reboot. Sure, there's probably several other great ways to tell how baby Kal got on the short bus to meteor town. I, for one, am not interested. The real courage is leaving the origin behind and going for a new angle - something with balls. That's what I'm hoping Zack has to offer.
If thing's don't go too well, we'll see the Man of Steel dry-humping Lois in the night sky over Metropolis - AGAIN. If things DO go well, we might see a great movie with a new storyline with Braniac and Doomsday. If things go according to the script I wrote, we'll see a buddy cop movie with Bizarro and Zombie Gus Gorman (played by George Clooney and Zombie Richard Pryor).
The Puff Puff crew is back with a bang!
Dub and Jobu are joined by Ryan and Doc for Episode X - a veritable royal rumble of craziness. First Doc gets evasive about singing in the shower, then conversation on seafood is soured by the oilspill. Ryan's talks about his trip to DR which somehow leads to a conversation on the apocalypse. Doc reveals his disrespect for nature, then we hear from Jeff who appeals to the audience for a new butler. A conversation on drunk driving dissolves into a zombie-Jeff scenario. We round out the whole episode with a double helping of outtakes.
Enjoy! We sure did.
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| Download | Duration: 00:55:31