Only the Stupid Survive
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When the mundane weekend conversation begins on most Mondays, inevitably someone will remark, “It was crazy, I almost died this weekend”. Well, here at The Puff Puff Podcast, we really mean it.
The trip started well, a campfire, a remote cabin that looked like Evil Dead 2, a volcano inside the warm cabin, and no cell reception. We even were good boys and girls and went to bed early on Friday to get an early head start on committing accidental suicide.
My optimism was in full effect as the streams roared beside us. The 18 inches of snow should have alerted us that the path would only lead to immense danger. Instead, pictures flashed, laughs were had, and Dub’s wine skin was tipped back. Jeff reverted back to a primal version of himself and became the tracker and master scout our party needed. He disappeared for 20 minute stretches and we would come upon him standing on a rock like a golden god.
We came upon an older hiker, and I should have been worried when he looked immediately at our feet. Thinking he was only checking out my beautiful form, I thought little of it.
Our first sign of danger came as we finished the Highland trail and connected with our first major river. Before we even saw the river, I saw Jeff walking toward us shaking his head and saying, “Take the kids back to the car.” I soon learned why he was so discouraged.
Looking over the precipice, all I could see was a playground slide of ice. Upon further inspection, I realized that this was a long winding trail of steps carved into the mountain that had been frozen over. The falls, which had been so serene and beautiful earlier in the trek, had frozen into Superman’s fortress of solitude.
Some faces were weakly masking their elation at the end of our hike. Others, like me, were looking to get around this problem, and in the same breath, taking the group into a further spiral of danger. I saw a snow covered hill next to the ice slide and climbed up. I knew that the angle of the hill toward the mountain was just enough to make it down. Knowing that we would never make it back up, I lied to the group and took us off trail into further danger. If we needed help now, there was no way for anyone to find us.
After trudging through two feet of snow at a 75 degree angle, we regrouped with the falls trail, and things went well for a while. We even ran into a pair of Asian hikers going the opposite direction. These men spoke little English, but they gave us the best and most accurate advice we should have listened to….”Danger”.
The next five hours entailed holding onto for dear life to melting ice caps, false ledges, hidden falls, and more bruised hips than a booty bumping festival. We made it that day my friends. Somehow we avoided the fate of three other groups of hikers last year. After we returned to the city, I learned that other, better trained and equipped groups, had to be airlifted off the terrain, and they had failed in better conditions that we had experienced. This proves once again: Only the stupid survive.
(written by Ryan - a companion article to Season 2 / Episode 3: "A Glimpse Into the Way the System Works")
Posted by Ryan at Thursday, June 02. 2011 
Categories: Show Notes:Show Notes - Season 2 Episode 3
Tags: crazy insane dangerous ricketts glen the falls trail falls trail waterfalls hiking funny story unprepared disaster pictures podcast puff without crampons ice spikes axe ice false ledge trail danger stupid survive snow inexperienced overestimation off trail unwitting close call almost died hangover
Categories: Show Notes:Show Notes - Season 2 Episode 3
Tags: crazy insane dangerous ricketts glen the falls trail falls trail waterfalls hiking funny story unprepared disaster pictures podcast puff without crampons ice spikes axe ice false ledge trail danger stupid survive snow inexperienced overestimation off trail unwitting close call almost died hangover
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